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Mastering Aunt Flo's Visit

Writer's picture: Kylie K.Kylie K.

Getting your period can feel like Mother Nature’s monthly prank—like she spun a cosmic wheel of discomfort and landed on you. Cramps? Check. Mood swings? Double check. A complete inability to find chocolate in the house? Triple check. Here are some tips to help you survive with your sanity (mostly) intact:


1. Track Your Cycle

Forewarned is forearmed. Use an app or a good old-fashioned calendar to predict when Aunt Flo is coming to town. Popular options like Clue, Flo, or any Period Tracker not only help you track dates but also give insights into symptoms and mood patterns. Bonus: You’ll know exactly when to start warning others about your impending "Do Not Poke the Bear" phase.

2. Stay Hydrated

Yes, it’s ironic that you feel like a human water balloon but still need to drink more water. Think of it as flushing out the drama. Herbal teas are great too—chamomile for calming, peppermint for cramps, and wine for… just kidding (or am I?).


3. Eat Nutritious Foods

Dark chocolate counts as a vegetable, right? Load up on leafy greens, nuts, and bananas, but don’t deny yourself some chocolate therapy. Just avoid salty snacks unless you want to feel like a bloated pufferfish.

4. Exercise Regularly

Moving your body can release endorphins, a.k.a. Mother Nature’s apology gift. Yoga, walking, or gentle stretching are your best bets—unless your uterus has gone full WWE, in which case, maybe just lie down dramatically.


5. Manage Cramps Like a Pro

Heating pads are basically hugs for your uterus. Pair that with pain relievers, and you’ve got a winning combo. Or just curse the universe into your pillow—whatever works.

6. Choose the Right Products

Pads, tampons, cups, or period underwear—pick your poison. It’s all about comfort and confidence. Eco-friendly options are great if you’re feeling virtuous, but let’s be real: on Day 1, we’re all just trying to survive.


7. Prioritize Self-Care

Netflix, snacks, and a heating pad. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Whether it’s a warm bath or yelling at reality TV contestants, do whatever brings you joy.

8. Prepare an Emergency Kit

Keep a stash of pads, tampons, painkillers, and a spare pair of undies in your bag. It’s like a period survival kit—because your uterus loves surprises.


9. Communicate Your Needs

“Not today, Karen.” Feel free to tell people you’re not up for their nonsense. The people who love you will understand; the people who don’t can deal with your death glare.


10. Know When to See a Doctor

If your period feels like a crime scene or your cramps make you want to write a strongly worded letter to the universe, it’s time to call a doctor. They’re there to help—no judgment for showing up in sweatpants.


Remember, periods may be natural, but they’re also totally unfair. Laughing through the pain might not solve everything, but it sure beats crying into your chocolate. Got any funny period survival stories? Share them in the comments below!


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